Real life is so messy, though. We all want true love don't we? At least, based on its prevalence as a theme in stories, I know I ain't the only one. The problem, of course, comes in finding it. There's no Audubon field guide to identifying it. No GPS coordinates, no dowsing rod, no falcon or bloodhound to track it.
There's no App for that.
It feels sometimes that all we can do is blunder around in the dark hoping against some pretty sizable odds to find someone that matches us in a truly profound way. And there are SO many false starts and winding paths that end in anger or loss or, at the very best, friendship. We hope with each new relationship, with each new person that makes us smile or makes our heart beat a little faster that they might be it. And I think sometimes we let that hope blind us to reality and I also think that sometimes we let reality dull what might be a chance to really be true.
I'm 32. I'm single. Does that mean I haven't found it yet? Or did I miss it somewhere along the line? Believe me, there are nights I am scared shitless that is the case, but then that would be a pretty bleak outlook to take. I have far too many years left to not have an equal and fair chance. But that's what it is and that's what's maddening about it.
It is all chance. Now, we can better the odds. We can be social and do activities, hobbies, and things that get us interacting with others who like the same things we do. That's always a start. I LARP, so perhaps one of my fellow Jedi or Sith may be true love in waiting. Or maybe within the rhino community or zoo keeping realm there is a heart that beats like mine. Or I could take up dancing, or yoga, or join the local writing community, or go to museums and theaters...It's all about being around other people, hoping and staying open to the unexpected.
And as I am searching I think, is that person out there blundering around in the dark as well? Feeling as hopeless as I do sometimes, feeling the darkness like a weight, feeling the search a thicket of brambles that claw and tear at the skin? (Then I kind of want to punch Fate in the face for making us both go through this when she could clearly just put us in the same place at the same time and then I think oh gods what if she has and we've both been missing each other and then I try and talk myself out of a panic attack, cause that is always a super effective method, and then I'm finally so exhausted I just crumple into the pile of tears and raw emotion and then....maybe...I take a breath and make a plan to take back my own destiny knowing in a little while it'll be the floor and tears again when the thoughts spiral down. But for that breath...life is a little brighter.)
Skipping past all of the "dating" bull and just getting to the heart of the matter of two people searching I've come up with some questions to ask yourself about the other person to determine if they are your true love.
1. Would you follow that person into the Fire Swamp?
follow up - could you live there quite happily?
2. Would you face the hoards of a zombie apocalypse just to get across town and then get her safely to your favorite pub named after a firearm?
3. Would you wear the armor of a Ubese bounty hunter just to sneak into a heavily fortified desert mobster's dwelling in the hopes of thawing your love out of carbonite and sneaking him out of there?
4. Would you sit out in space in a Raptor waiting for the Cylon Baseship - that you have no idea will return or not- to bring back the woman you once locked horns with but now respect and love so she can finally tell you she loves you? ...'bout damn time.
5. Would you face down all the Reavers in the 'verse for one night with your love?
6. Would you don armor and follow sprites deep into the pit of darkness to face the son of all evil (who has the voice of Tim Curry, and giant bull horns)?
follow up: would you also trust your love to not cut the head off the last unicorn and thus be faking her apparent flight into darkness?
7. Would you actually tell her/him that you loved them, even though you are former military turned cab driver who has no points left on his license and you have no business saving the world?
8. Would you stand watch over a giant cube for 2000 years because you've been turned into a robot roman centurion and your love is trapped inside said cube?
9. Would you drink the Water of Life, risking madness and death, for her/him?
10. Would you eat your love after their death to fully grok them?
11. Would you forgo immortality in the west to instead convince you dad to reforge the shards of Narsil so your true love has the hope of surviving the darkness spreading out of Mordor?
12. Would you stab them through the heart because they've opened up a demon portal that will destroy the world even though they've just had their soul returned and could have been your love once more?
13. After a first date in Saturday detention, would you give your love one of your diamond earrings?
14. Would you not retire your love even if they were one of the most dangerous models of synthetic humans?
15. Would you follow her into her evil mother's castle along with a dwarf and a old witch to save a child... even though she kicked you in the face? (to be fair, you are the greatest swordsman that ever lived.)
16. Would you face a bunch of Nazis and an ancient Hebrew relic that can melt flesh when looked upon to save your love?
17. Would you pop your adamantium claws through her heart because she is the destruction of all but has one moment of clarity and asks for you to kill her?
18. Would you eat a whole horse heart for your love?
19. Would you attempt to rescue your love from a Zerg hive-planet?
20. Would you allow yourself to be frozen in carbonite to save your love?
p.s. if you are my True Love will you kindly post so in the comments section below - it'll make this all go a lot easier. Thanks. You're awesome. I'm looking forward to loving you.